Tummyache for almost 5days now, it aint cool! Makan dh ku ubat tu ah, lakat jua macam bae sakit nya! So my temper mikin naik kebelakangan ani, macam macam ada d utak ah sabut tah sja ada ni semua dlm utak ah. Hm batah batah ani ive been thinking a lot about the future, entah cemana kah aku ani nanti. Problems lagi betimbun s: Penyakit bae ani lagi mikin menjadi! I hate it when im out of control ): I wish i can undo everything so my life inda cemani. Inda guna kan regret it happened sudah, just go on lah even sakit macam mana pun. But sometimes i really felt mau giveup saja everything hm mati dah akal ani kadang nya ): Oh yea last two days kali sad berabis ku psl................hm mlasku cerita sini eh nah dtg balik sedih ku. OFF. )':


Today's BBQ was.... i cant say i enjoyed but incredibly tiring eh and i ate too much today which is not okay. I tried to have fun but hm inda dapat. So i just act that i really had fun and enjoy the whole day which im not ): I kept faking smile, i act that im okay tapi banarnya inda, i kept laughing just to ease this pain and hiburkan diri but semuanya useless at the end when im alone datang lagi, lagi, lagi and lagi! Thought today is gonna be the day that i will never forget but....hm S: Theres something bothers me and i just cant stop it! I kept fighting til it stop but i cant ): It just keep bothering me again and again, what the hell is wrong with this stupid brain. Erk! I dont know why suddenly it pops on my mind, really i dont know! Everytime im alone thinking, i kept thinking this nonsense things which is totally weird. I hate it when aku babau tarus-tarus, angan-angan tapi utak bejalan. ANNOYING WAH SAKIT HATI KU! It haunts me, sakit kepala ku wah oleh nya. Okay the headache datang lagi, im OFF didnt have the mood to talk about the whole BBQ thingy, i have mention already that it wasnt that all good i fake everything )':

Currently pissed off right now! Cuba kamu, how do you feel when someone sukati ja makai barang kamu with no permisson at all? Gerenti marah kan? Thats what i felt right now. Banyak kali dah kana buat cani, inda respect aku langsung!!! Bae sukati nya makai ada lagi barang privacy tu!!! Padahal i did warned her tapi dui BABAL KAN MATI!!! Mantang-mantang ku nada di rumah sukatinya ganya! Huh terpaksa ku tahan saaja marah ani for tommorow mudahan everything is going well esuk. Payah ada adi tae palat ani!!!!! BAUTA USULNYA! Awu perasahan mature dah, MIHIR TABAK BABI! Di suruh bali barang inda mau biar barang urang habis di rusah kan nya!!! Bukan ku kan bekira tapi almost semua barang-barang ku kan di kabas nya!!!! Ergh tahan saja tia dulu, tae palat tia ya dulu dont look for me if anything happens (: Bah skip that, mental saja oleh nya. So lastnight was super good (: Me, my baby and the rest went dinner with makteh tercinta and auntKUG at sungai tilong seafood center. I love the feeling when he gather around with my family, it feels good *thumbsup (: Im lovin it ! :D We went home with full tummy, the food was good everyone was having paradise :D Bah im not really in the mood for blogging, until then.................................................................

So... been 5 days this blog is unwritten. Here it goes.. My days were upside down i guess, mcm biasa sja nothing special. So... hm life? Shoot! Its getting really messy. My head felts like want to explode. I dont know whats wrong actually, well everything is going well but entah that kinda weird feeling masih ada s: Susah mau cakap, im the only one that can feel how weird it is. Ergh im such a weirdo! Erk skip that. Last saturday we were having family function which is good, my baby came which is super good (: It feels like he's already apart of the family, awww *dreaming. Well hope he'll be my soulmate who will takecare of me sampai tua bekeradut jua (: Seriously, im dying to live with him BANAARTTAHH. Boh deep aku AHHH :D Tapi awu banar EHHH, banar sebanarnya inda pecaya balah tia dada ku AHHH * mati majal. Haha q: Bah eh speechless ku tarus bedeep sja keraja ku, WTH! Huh i have got to find a job eh sooner, kan jadi apa inda bekeraja ahhh! OFF, mau layan the hills and the city.

Today was phathetic. My head and my stomache was like, OUCH! Sakit S: I dont know whats going on with me, i get to love sitting alone and talking to myself everyday. Mcm setiap ptg i would cari place yg sunyi then sit down sna doing things that is not me at all. No im not crazy i just dont know what is going on my freaking mind ): I dont know what should i do, who should i talk to cuz for me theres no one in this whole wide world will want to hear me and give their shoulder just for me to lay on. Its actually happen lama sudah but it stops but now dtg semula. I just hate this weird kinda feeling, all i can do is not to fear whatever is going to happen and im gonna struggle just to make it all okay. I have no mood to contact him either, i dont know why. I just felt useless and not needed. It feels like nothing in this world could ever make my life a dream cometrue. If i could have one wish, i'll wish for someone who always be there for me care for me need me listen to me and never ever will forget me whenever and wherever. Inda banyak pun sorang jaditah, sounds like i desperately need attention ): I just want to be happy that is all, i just want all the bad things go away. Inda salah kan?s: This is what i did expressing the whole thing in this phathetic blog. People just wont listen to me, criticizing, blaming is all they could give. I know im weird i know im brainless i know im nothing in everyone eyes but what to do im just a normal human being, i have many lack and trying my best to be better. People just cant seem to see that i am really trying for the better, they all just see me for the worst. Kesian kan having a life cemani? For you, i wish you'll be that dream cometrue but for now i dont see you like that. I see you just like i see the others. I never thought im feeling like i been abandoned by you and never thought i am here just for nothing. Why cant you just be that different from other people, im not begging you to give me much of that attention but liat tah something happen to me pun you dont realised you never cared. The inside of me never was the important thing for you to care. Dont blame me not telling you. Its hard living a life like mine. Wish i could live a better life. Pyh nyamu bila tani atu nada papa nya di mata urg. Im gonna rest my mind now, im out of words.

Just got back from jalan. It was... unsatisfied, seriously i dont have much fun ): Pikir today was gonna be the enjoyable day but turns out, NOT! But cerita santau tadi was GOOD! Tpi aku nda puas hati inda meliat dri awal and smpai akhir ): Cari dvd nya pun susah tdi!! So I was so kusut and stress tdi BAAANAARRTAHH! Many things just PISSED ME OFF! But i managed ke clinic tadi, relief sikit dpt ubat from doctor. Hope i will get well soon. Hm i am in PANAS HATI situation right now!! I NEED MY BABY )'''':


Okay two days row, SICK!! It sucks BIG TIME MAN! Currently im suffering demam selisma, batuk-batuk and the body is sakit semacam especially the leg and pinggang part ): It aint cool eh, payah makan payah tidur payah bejalan ingat siuk tu ah siukkkk?!! So i guess i cant make it for tomorrow driving class later i'll ask my baby to tunda it for me. And yes will be going out this monday with them and ofcourse will bring my baby too, ITS A MUST. I planned to go to clinic this monday if the pain still remains, seriously inda ku tahan anipun menahan rasa. I want to go clinic ASAP but due to kesibukkan my baby paksa tahan and wait for the result on monday. If okay sudah inda payah lah if masih, clinic lah jawapan nya ): Huh and so boring, makteh is in KB until sunday. And no plans for today and sunday my baby inda suruh jalan cuz he's busy with his sister tunang ceremony. Entah krg ku dgr kna bwa ke pantai i dont know kan ikut or inda ikut my mood. So sampai sini sja inda ku aman menaip selisma ani, BAE! ):

Okay yesterday i started driving lesson sudah. Ai mai gat, inda ku nyanyat nyamu manual AHH! Seriously, BANGANGKU! My legs sakit bahh, hampus tarus olehnya. Inda cali tu! And surprised first day lesson sudah kna bwa jalan besar, dah pun aku bangang kna bwa lagi jln basar ): First day i admit, no good eh. Hope later i managed to ingat semua and hope im not lalai and cuai, tadi selalu happened tu eh s: I just cant stand the class part, kusut tarus oleh nya bahhh BANAARRTTAHHH. Awu dlu iski kan belesen dah merasai manual atu patah bui semangat AHHH. MIMPI SAJA! Okay skip that, i dont want to concentrate on that just hope mikin hari mikin better atu sja. So my baby pick me up after driving class and went jalan jalan. My $$ totally habis, i know boros much! Once beusin i'll shop til i drop, perangai that i cant change! Payah nyamu aku ani kan menyimpan usin, sanang sja usin habis olehku. So shopping with my baby, mcm mcm bah kn di beli. Cuba imagine from 1pm to 6+pm bah kmi siap shopping ah, banar banar biskami shopping atu. Then after shopping ke stadium drg eggmal, hasaruthin, hasikah, malik and ikhwan bwa jogging so ya we wait for drg di stadium sja. Then after jog mkn nasi katok lambak then at 11pm.... BALIKLAHHH!


Today was..... good but ada jua bad sikit. I wokeup pasal mom called asking about my JPD test then tutup tipun, ada message from b-mobile. And guess what? Mom transfered me $2, i received the msg with surprise face. Bangang ku bah, tertanya tanya ku tarus olehnya. So i msg my mom asking her salah transfer kah inda and ckp thankyou tarus q: hehe so she replied! Manis eh replynya hehe, she said " correct darling ". Mikin ku bangang lagi, bckp trus ku sorang diri " apa angin mama ani? ". Tapi seriously today angin mama baik ehhh. Sudah pn aku kna transfer kredit skali tadi ku karumah melawat peradian ku, mom gave me $50. Mcm rasa inda pecaya bah tapi apa pun Alhamdulillah (: And what a surprise, sisJG told me mom ada cerita pasal my baby, awww (: Lagi tia ku tekajut mom ada cerita pasal jamesbond. Today aku melalui hari yang bangang :D Dari pagi sampai malam, BANGANG! But anyway thankyou mom cuz you made my day today (: Hm but im a lil pissed right now!! And aku rasa lain ): Jaga shit will happen ni liat saja, sekali rasa ani lain bah confirm ada! Okay moody ku tarus, OFF. p/s: Jgnth d blas bah msg ku ah, alang alang jgnth contact kh tantu kan? i know ada something that i dont know! MMMbahhh okay tu eh MANASAJATAHHH!


I woke up sharp 1045am. So i have no mood to reply any misscalls or messages apalagi dari IA!! MALASTAH KU INGAU MELAYAN LAKI LAKI GATAL MIAANG ANI NYAMU EHHH. Mati GATAL BAE AHHH SIAL USULNYA. So today malas jalan jalan lalah masih bagas kelamarin but surely tomorrow jalan since makteh balik malam atu jua, besides this utak mau bagi relax maaa. Bah OFF. Im sick of you and gonna learn how to kick this feelings, i want it to fadeaway so badly cuz your just pain in the butt ASSHOLEEEE!!! BUDUH!

Currently PISSED OFF! What a waste of time kana ulah macam GILABAE! And the sial part AKU BAH KANA UCAP MULAI ANI! Siapa yang selfish and siaapa yang ego banarnya ni???? Aaaahhh what the hell berambus lagi bagus laaaaa!! He thinks aku inda berani bah berambus, youre wrong man!!! Meliat tah kau ni aku berambus and inda kau akan meliat muha ku lagiiiiiii!!!! Tae lah aku inda berani. Aku tah menggitahu once you let me go dont look for me anymore, got that?(: Jangan ku di cari lagi lapas atu. Bah until here mental kuuu! BUDUH! -UPDATE at 1230am- Okay my kementelan redha sikit, sikit pulang saja tu. Apa inda redha rezeki datang bah tadi arah ku (: Apa lagi kan shopping tah ku ni hehe Alhamdulillah (: Plan ku kan beli pants, shirts and repair my favourite heels. Sayang banar ku bah heels ku atu yatah kan ku bawa repair kadai. Hm okay off ku before kepala ani kaboom lagi.