My day today went....normal. I woke up early at 7am because i have to attend the jpd writing test. Well the test was...okay, i guess. My eyes was sleepy bah so ya my mood time test was boring berabis! Mun sudah satu soalan tu batah bah kan bepikir ah padahal sanang saja tu lalai lalai ku ngantuk batah bah jadinya. But anyhow mudahan saja ku pass. Batah lagi tu nunggu result keluar, seminggu bah seminggu! Stress to the hantap ku! Hm so currently now im so the very hungreyh!! Im waiting for my bro to wake up then baru makan. And ai mai gat, im craving nasi goreng pusu buatan his mom tersayang ): Selalu tu eh if time ku kelaparan mesti tu dalan utak nasi goreng pusu ah hm s: Babe im craving nasi mama ): Okay until here my bro just woke up, its makan time. OFF.

I have no mood today.Sekajap genya angin ku baik then jahat balik. And i seriously dont have the mood to balas his messages and misscalls infact i have no mood to contact him. I felt something is wrong yatah malasku contact. Mun lain rasa ani bah ada tah tu ya. Malas ku ingau mun ia buleh buat kenapa aku inda buleh, awu ja? Esuk outing ani pun malas rasa ku. Buntu utak ku thinking what to do. My instinct is not a joke for you to play. Awu sorry saja after this theres no ampun man (: You'll see how mean i can be, seriuosly you'll see. I might seem weak weak to you, youre totally wrong! I'll do whatever it takes sampai hati ani puas (: OFF.

Phewww!!! Im so bangas right now, i havent took my bath. So malas, later i take i guess. So my mood random today, nothing spesial. Lastnight was... good (: I wish we can talk like that lagi babe, you know atu yang i wait for so long " our confession ". Well okay im not exactly saying that i believe and trust you and im not exactly sure that youre telling the truth but hey the conversation was exactly what i wanted. We have our ups and down but our love what makes us kept holding on. Okay skip that, so my tummy started to sakit-sakit which i dont know why. And what pissed me tadi the two maids cook sikit bah, tau ya jilama di sini banyak masak sedikit! bodoh much. Paksa lah ku tahan lapar until 6pm tadi baru i eat, atupun sikit pasal inda bemood and ai mai gat the perut annoying man! Oh ya this 29th inda jadi ): Have to cancel jua, inda siuk bah not ramai-ramai atu so cancel and schedule another day. Its a MUST, broHM want it so badly. Okay my blogging mood stops till here.


Its been days i didnt blogged. So hm ive been through good and bad times and currently now im not in a good mood. IM SO PISSED OFF AND SO INCREDIBLY MAD! Felt like this head kan melatup saja! Darn eh, why cant i just get over it and be gone? Im sick of LIES and felt like kana buduh-buduhi! SIAL JUA TU. Inda buduh dari mana tu! So unappreciate! Thought life will be paradise so cool and so on but turns out its like living in HELL! I wish i was heartless. Behati inda behati sama saja ceritanya! Ergh, pegi mampus lagi bagus! Cakap saja ngada-ngada buat atu nada macam apaa! Bulih dah mampus tu, banar EHH. Tae lah kan mau happy lah apa lah, tae taeee. Kunun bejannji lah besumpah apa, dui tae laaaa. Sanak nyamu ku mendangar! Baik mendangar tape rusak kali pakah. Mati jua eh cakap saja ngada-ngada, TAEEEE. OFF!

SHIT BITCHES!! FUCK YOU! MAIN NGADU KAWAN KIMA AH, MAJAL. MUN KAN CARI PASAL GITAHU JUJUR SIAL INDA PAYAH PAKAI EXCUSE MINTA MAAP. BAE CARA MU AH! NO WORRIES ONE DAY BEJUMPA JUA KITANI TU HEHE JUST WAIT FOR THE RIGHT TIME (: AKU BUKAN MACAM KAU NGADU KAWAN, BUDUH USULNYA UDAH DI CAKAPI HARITU BABAL! MENGAPA DANG? BEGUNA KAU KAN KEDIA? DUI AMBIL PULANGGGGG. AND SORRY AH ALUM AH KU KAN KELAHI MUN GANYA PASAL LAKI-LAKI, KU SURUH PULANG KAU AMBIL BAH NI IA AH (: MALAS TAH KU AH KAN BEKELAHI PASAL LAKI-LAKI NOT MY STYLE KIMA. MAKAN TIA " BF " MU AH YANG KAU MAJAL-MAJAL ANI TUNGGAP TARUS, LUWAN! YANG SI " BF " NYA ANI SAMA JUA TUYU! APA TAH TU IA MENANGIS DI PEDULI APAAANN ~ ENTAH KAU CAKAP JUA KAU SUKA AH! AWU TEBUAT KEDIA NADA BERANI DI SUMPAH, GILA SAYANG KALI AH BULIHHHH. AWU DONT WORRY AKAN KU TEMUKAN KAMU DUA (: SAMA TAH KAMU TU, SAMA-SAMA BABAL INDA MERATI SIZE TAH KAMU TU WAH. SANAK KU SUDAH KANA SIA-SIA KAN MACAM TAE KANA ABAIKAN MACAM GILABAE SANAK KU SUDAH AIR MATA KELUAR UNTUK BARANG YANG INDA PIDAH-PIDAH. BAIK KU MIKIRKAN DIRI KU SENDIRI LAPAS ANI LAGI ADA HASIL SANAK KU SUDAH KANA ULAH KAN MACAM PELACUR! BUKAN STYLE KU JUA NGACAU HUBUNGAN URANG BUKAN MACAM KAU KIMA LUWAN MURAH DAH DI BAGITAU DI ASUH NYA BABAL AH. BAH MALAS KU MENTAL BANYAK-BANYAK SINI. MALAS TAH KU NGACAU " URANG SEDANG BECINTA SANA ATU ". BAHAGIATAH DANG BABAL AND WANG BABAL (: IF KAU INDA GATAL JUA BEKAWAN MENGHANTAR KEDIA APA NADA JADI CEMANI. APAKAN MACAM NADA URANG LAIN SAJA IA JUA PELACUR SURUH PULANG YA SAMA DANGANNYA BEAMPUT ATU MENGHANTAR ANI MAU KAU JUA. MUN INDA SUKA WANG INDA KAU MENULUNG KEDIA. ENTAH KAU MATITAH KAU SANA AH. p/s : mun rasanya membaca ani, JANGAN KU DI JUMPAI. PIKIR TAH SENDIRI SANA. INGAT SANANG KAN SETTLE CEMATU SAJAAA! TAE LAH, SALAH SENDIRI PIKIR SENDIRI. JANGAN CAKAP KU MAJAL, PIKIR WAH MUN KAU DALAM SITUASI KU ANI! SUDAH NYANGKU RASA HATI KU INDA PERNAH MENIPU, LIAT TAH DI MALAM BANAR KAN RASA KU AH LIAT TAH APA TAH TERJADI TADI. APAKAN? SENGAJA KAH? PIKIR KAN TIA. JANGAN EGO, APA RASANYA MUN DIRI ATU DI SITUASI DIRI ANI! BAHHH!

I am currently bored, broHIK busy with his tibia and dota and im all alone. Well i just felt like blogging so here it goes.. Theres something bothers me too much. Something i felt is missing. I felt " ada urang menipu aku lagi ! ". Yatah bari malas ni if rasa ani timbul, ada tah lagi yang inda di ingini akan berlaku ni. Kuat bah rasa ani, yatah SIAL ni. If banar lah ah BAH DAPAT DAH CHOW TU. Panyaluru jua tu eh mun banar wah, SENGAJA NAMA NYA TU BUI. Awas saja if BANAR (; Ergh, bae banar rasa ani! Ka utak nyamu tujunya !! Di bawa tidur inda jua mau, eh bae banar! Mesti ni ada something yang aku inda tahu, kuat bah rasa hati ani!! Mental ku jadinyaaa !! Tarus-tarus bah dalam fikiran weird jua tu. Banar-banar lagi tu ya ka pikiran, ERGH! Awu awas saja eh mun banar, ketahuan ya siapa si damit ani hehe (: Awu nada ku main-main ni wangggggg. OFF.

Nah si awang danganku kelalahan ah, love you blackishassme (: Lalah buiii~ But anyhow hm i did have fun (: So i got cerita but i dont feel like cerita di sini hm ): I never thought eh, hope saja everytings gonna be okay. Really i just cant believe what i just heard but i cant do anything and at the sametime i felt guilty ): Ya Allah jauhi lah ku dari laki-laki cematu. So..skip that part, these three days i've been really worried, my broHM just got sick and he been complaining a lot about his head.I asked him sudah to go check-up at clinic but inda mau. Tadipun i offered him ke clinic pun inda mau. I just hope nothing serious, just headache biasa ): Oh yea my driving class haritu, buring! Macam complicated ku kan paham, But hoping i'll pass everything, bauriku bah ): Paksa bah revise macam kan exam basar watir jua sudah tu! Lain bah rasa ani s: Eh skip that eh, malas ku manjai kebaurian ku ani. And yes i cut my hair ): Macam a bit regret ku kan s: Yatah aku tu sudah dapat macam-macam tia, sasak eh. At first hyper ni kan begunting ah then macam-macam tia kusut ku! But anyhow akhirnya kesampaian jua membali galang giring-giring * my babe becakap cematu bah seluru kan saja tia q: * inda apa lah untuk kaki pun jadi lah asal ada GIRING-GIRING q: Bah im off kan liat the city dulu then mau tidur (:

Its almost 4am and im still awake, ALONE. Tulang busy with her man and me? Alone gilabae. Tadi was entah, my mood not steady hari ani. And ergh she is so annoying! Awu dang tau urang wah kau pandai drive jangan tah sok ngajar aku!! Kau ganya yang emosi ani, aku yang kan ambil lesen kau pulang sibuk-sibuk ni?Apakan~ Inda payah dih bari watir ah, macam aku ani palui saja yang kau sok ngajar ani. Face the fact dang yang aku ani tuha lagi dari kau jangan kau sok kan ngajar aku macam aku ani bawah mu. Pidah saja ku drive mun kau sibuk-sibuk kan nyampuk-nyampuk. Awu dih tau ku dih kau pernah migang kaita so kau pro lah sudah tu ah bab-bab drive-drive ani, tae laaa~Perasahan mu mature sangat kah kau ah yang sok ngajar aku ani? Kau tu yang patut di ajar. Adang tah kau bah kan nunjuk-nunjuk ani, jangan kan luwan ngejar pemes ani mun cara bisai inda jua ah ani MALAS KAN CAKAP. And you think im controlling your life? Eh WE are just doing our responsibilities as your older brother and sister, if inda mau kana cakapi pandai-pandai lah membawa diri ani kan enjoy tah ganyaaaa. Okay i cant enjoy all that i want and you think we larang you jalan atu kami dangki kah? Eh mun pandai bawa diri manasaja pebaik kau inda balik-balik manasaja tah kau ani MALAS KAN CAKAP. Kau apa jua tau mu, kau sibuk mikir kan enjoy ganya nada lagi hal lain selain enjoy, aweh siuk eh sanang ah enjoy saja ani, pikir jua dih cana kan behidup. Pandang randah saja kau arah ku dulu (: Hm sooner i'll be changing usul blog ku ani, malas ku kan nukar buat masa ani nada mood ku. Ergh hope gonna go outting later, crash in makteh. OFF.

I love this but semuanya tinggal kenangan...........
" Lately i've been thinking what i can do, i've been stressing out to fall back in love with you, Im so sorry that i couldnt follow through but i cant go this way i've got to stop it babe..You've been wonderful in all that you can be but it hurts when you say that you understand me.. I wanted you to be there when i fall,I wanted you too see me through it all, I wanted you to be the one i love, I wanted you I wanted you.. I wanted you to hold me in my sleep, I wanted you to show me what i need, I wanted you to know just how down deep i wanted you i wanted you.. I've been pushing hard to open up the door trying to take back where we were before but im done i just cant do this anymore cause we cant be mended lets stop pretending now..We've been walking around for circles for some time and i think we should head for the finish line... ", My heart is 100% torn apart, theres no heart left for me and im alone with this pain ): Im just a sucka for love. This pain just keep hurting me each and everyday, i can denied im just nothing to everyone espicially him. IM NOTHING, thanks for breaking my heart! THANKS A LOT!
I dont want to talk about my love life, nothing special about it anymore all i got was pain. So makteh came tadi and threw me a good news. Unfortunately i'll be having my own driving license. Makteh said she paid everything including test jalan raya but biasa lah besyarat. I dont want to mention the condition here, the important things is aku kan dapat lesen atu saja. This week start because sunday i must go sudah to sungai akar mendaftar sekulah memandu, thanks to makteh!(: I promise i will stick to my promise. Hm yes i know i sounded unhappy this suppose to be the greatest news but.... Hm malaskan cakap, my heart really-really carik dah ): not just atu pasalnya kabak-kabak rasa ku inda ku tau mengapa nervous kali ijap inda pass bah ): Actually nada mood ku wah kan ambil but makteh just give me responsibilities so if kan kemana-mana and hantar my adik-adik inda payah my parents lagi it will be my job to hantar all of them wherever they go. Huh hope saja aku pass ah, hm.. Im not in mood, Bah off. s:


Okay i was really overacted an hour ago, but now it just different. Its really hard for me when someone i love lied to me. And its more harder when that someone dont respect what i did, my needs and ofcourse myself. Im blank, i dont know what to do. I kinda miss my old life but its hard for me to be who i was back then. I really dont understand what he wants from this relationship, i gave everything he ask to but theres none for me. Sometimes i just felt use. I dont know what to believe anymore. I guess i was wrong to start it all over with him, theres no change at all. I dont even know whats the truth about him. For years i've been messing up myself to be that kinda person that he wants me to be but what he did was just hurting me with LIES. He didnt even aprreciate for what i have done infact he thinks of him self. I dont know how to get through this, the guy been with me for almost 5years i just cant get it what he wants. He said happiness? I dont think so, if he really want us to be happy he wouldnt do everything that he just did behind my back. I dont know maybe he doesnt want me for sure thats what i see. Showing love is by honesty, faithfully not by lies. I desserve better. I cant believe i fell for the wrong guy and love him all my heart. Read again about my previous post, was i okay? Scroll down........

Terbangun ku,b-t-w my day today SIAL! I just got new member for my " the best pembual ever list " and definitely ia yang top pembual dalam list ku ah. Bisai eh suka ku rupanya selama ani kana buali ku sial, awu ngucap urang bukan main macam diri atu nada dusa atu baru ya inda sadar diri. Tarang-tarang bah salah diri tapi dui macam sampah ku di buatnya, tebuat aku tu karang kan mati ngamuk nya inda buduh dari mana kan tu? Ia andang buduh mun ia inda buduh nada ya membual kan? ani semua kan di bual nya arah ku. Bae lagi tu caranya ah tebuat aku inda buleh tebuat ia buleh, lagi tia sial! Baru tah ku telarah pembual cani ani mun sudah ia paling top atu wah. Besumpah macam gilabaae ia jua di buat nya. Time-time cemani ia besumpah janji apa, alum ku kan pecaya pikir dulu before becakap. Kau expect aku kan caya kau, cuba kau kira berapa kali kau membual ah inda kali tekira eh, baru kau cakap cematu wang. Awu bukan main melarang aku ah tapi ia siuk-siuk macam gilabae membuat, sia-sia saja ku buat apa kau suruh! Semua wah ku korbankan nada menghargai langsung buduh ah, luwan-luwan di asuhnya buduh nya ah. Apakan mau kan happy tapi membuat atu membuat ani? Yatah nada ku paham tu, inda waras kali bah. Utak ada inda di gunakan, entah inda ku tau pakai apa kau bepikir ani inda patut pakai utak mun pakai utak inda tia jadi cemani. Awu pikir hilang sakitnya ani pasan ku mikin trok ada pulang! Confirm inda waras wah. Inda lagi tau beza sayang or inda, ada kah sayang nya kan aku tapi sengaja buat aku gila atu. Inda buduh dari mana tu tau ya aku banci barang atu tapi di buatnya nah sengaja jua tu? Ia ganya talur inda pandai bepikir. He thinks only " maaf " dapat nyelesaikan semua ani, buduh kali ingat aku ani apa! Lain kali inda payah tae palat melarang aku mun rasanya diri inda dapat membuat! Balik-balik dah ku cakap cematu atu, babal jua lakat! Gilabae bah caranya ah ia buleh tapi aku inda buleh atu, dapat udah mampus tu kau ah! Setahi melarang urang kima ah. Awu jadinya HATINYA MESTI DI JAGA TAPI HATI KU ANI INDA PAYAH LAH AH? BAEEE. Ingin ya buat aku gila atu suka ku SUKA BANAAAR. Apa lagi kau bual ah wang baik tah kau keluar kan semua nya, jangan luwan di asuh buduh mu ah urang lain pulang gila karang oleh mu. Dasar inda sadar diri punya urang! Supa bikin pisin nya sial. BAUTAAA. Before membuat pikir dulu ah apa rasa nya mun barang yang diri buat atu kana buat arah diri atu, jangan tau buat inda tau mikir atu namanya palui tu mun kan tau. Sudah nyangku alum kau buat yang ku mau atu nada ku puas hati, sudah nyangku tanggung akibatnya. Malar dah ku cakap lakat jua kau babal kan mati. Selama ani kau ingat aku cakap main-main wah ah, yatah kau asuh buduh mu atu. PALUIIII.

Okay it was 8th of november and i went out with broHM, sisZP, sisFR, sisJG, MALIK and JB. We went swimming dulu at stadium ato ya crowded bah stadium ah but i have fun though, kan babe?q: But too bad si adyM fetch ZP an hour later cuz he want to bring ZP with him to KB so tinggal six of us and boring broHM inda spoting inda mandi. Booo~ So after we finished swimming we went to ayamku gadong to isi perut, next trip to yayasan kali then giant. Entah im not sure mana yang first ni, but anyhow i have fun.(: But lalah jua eh, now im blogging with my sleepy eyes, i just want to post before i go to sleep. And today is JB's mom birthday and sayangnyer si anak inda tau ah berapa umur mama nya q: Anyway Happy Birthday to her, JB's mom and I hope to be calling her mama jua nanti insyaallah.(: So this is where my post stopped, im tired and sleepy have to go to sleep atupun kalau mahu ni. Kalau inda mau liat youtube tah jawapan ku tu :D
He's my baby and always be my baby, He's the reason why im still breathing, He's my favourite cookie of all and hoping to be beside him when i say " i do ", i love you ajhs.(:


Okay I slept banyak kali today. Infact tadi around 8+pm i just woke up. My mind was really kusut. Im sick of my life, infact im sick of everything. Having amnesia will be nice so that aku inda ingat lagi apa-apa pasal hidupku! Huh im tired sudah wah of everything. Overload sudah memory utak ah, payah kan di format. Banyak virus bah! Sudah di ingau kan di fikirkan gila tapi sudah inda di ingau and di fikirkan mikin pulang gila. Kusut bah kusut! Kan di settlekan datang tia yang baru, gila gila! Awu baik mampus! I wish dapat di shutdown wah hidupku ani bari sanak ka jiwa! Bah mental ku menjadi ni karang, off.

There was a time when my world was filled with darkness and I stopped dreaming now, I'm supposed to fill it up with something. In your eyes I see the eyes of somebody i knew before long long long ago. But I'm still trying to make my mind up, am I free or am I tied up? I change shapes just to hide in this place but I'm still an animal. Nobody knows it but me when i slip,
I'm still an animal. Memang aku binatang jua kan? ( :

Everytime i tried to make things right, no one seems to aprreciate it and no one seems to understand. Feels like my life is going to end. Im sick of hoping and im sick of believing. No one seems to get me, their pretend so that i felt special. Im nothing but just a trash, animal and unexist. Their hurt me with lies. I dont have nobody but myself. So mun rasanya inda sayang aku gitau terus terang inda payah sok sayang sana atu inda payah sok ingau kan aku inda jua payah sok paham kan aku. Get that? I have feelings and it never lies. And i also have a heart that never lie either. Once it said something is wrong then banar lah tu something is wrong and thats what i felt right now. LIARS are my enemies! I dont LOVE LIARS. Harap Maklum ( :



Okay today...no comment. So let me begin.. My sleep?Not great, terbangun and inda dapat tidur balik. My lunch and dinner?Ayam kicap for lunch which is good and dinner mee goreng and murtabak talur which is excellente! My relatioship?I dont know, okay i guess. So overall my day was...50% good, maybe im not sure. Got gossips but inda mau share di sini, im not mean. But do me a favor will ya? Open your mind and grow up already! In this world we dont have to enjoy everyday, we got so many other things to do. Yes i know you want freedom but not in your way. Youre like using people and thats not cool. You think of yourself, youre not the only one yang hidup dalam dunia ani jelama lain sekikiling mu kan kamu apa? Hope you know whats good and whats not, im not trying to insult you or whatsoever but for the better not for the worse. The two of you sama saja. Hope you guys know saja lah whats best for your future, i have so much things to say but sia-sia saja tu you wont even listen. So atu saja lah im not trying to be si pandai and si mengajar here like i said its for the better not for the worse, you guys got a long way to go. Remember people around you, think whats best, aim what you aim for, appreciate things that been given and etc. You guys had responsibilities so did everyone else. Try to stand if you think youre falling. Being someone that youre not doesnt do you any good, be yourself and stay that way. Dont do what people do unless its right. Hope the best for you guys, be a better person show people that you can! Off, its tv time ( :



Yesterday was fun. Turns out my sisFR inda jadi so there were six of us, all couples ( : It was a very tiring day for me cuz aku inda cukup tidur yatah i slept early lastnight, before 1am sudah ku dibuai mimpi. So we went to many places which i dont barely remember. And gosh because of my clothes i have to wear my tudong mun inda kana sembalih karang : D Actually if inda pakai tudong pun okay pulang inda menjuluk mata nya urang tapi entah ah i just felt like wearing tudung tapi ia jua kusut nya aku ahh. So we have dinner at delima i cant remember the restaurant name but the menu wow delicious punya! For my menu i gave 9/10, nyaman bah nyaman tapi inda jua teabis. Nyaman tapi at the sametime parut ani sakit wah dont know why. Thanks to malik for the treat ( : Oh yes my head is really heavy right now, my eyes is sleepy like hell but macam biasa di bawa tidur inda mau. Oh ya how happy i am the new episode of the hills main lagi and also the city! I've been waiting for like months episode baru main, i just love both of the series i learn something from there that whats make me become addicted to it and this november the new episode of keepin up with the kardashians kan main yes! Cant wait! Well now i want to take some rest lalah ku bah, melayan the simpsons dulu : D